The Dictionary According to Mandy - Entry # 1

Dork. n. – You will know one when you meet one
It doesn’t take a magnifying glass to spot a dork; in fact, it doesn’t even take mild prescription lenses. Trust me, you will know a dork when you meet one. You know that guy who uses a really stupid pick up line like “Hey, I once sat on a sprinkler and my speedo exploded, can I have your number?” (This was actually used on me) is probably a dork. He is probably a dork if he interrupts your studying to ask if he is being too loud, and then, as if the interruption isn’t enough, continues to talk to you for half an hour about what you are studying. Does he honestly think I believe that he is interested in Shakespeare’s view of women? And if he was sorry about being too loud in the first place, why is he still talking? You know he’s probably a dork if after staring at you for a moment he breaks the silence by saying, “your shoes match your sweater.” All the while you are thinking, “Thanks genius, I had no idea! Did it ever occur to you that maybe while I was getting ready this morning I thought to myself…hmmm, I think I will wear brown shoes since I am wearing a brown sweater? Then again, judging by your outfit, a thought like that would never enter the small recesses of your brain.” You know he is a dork if he tells you that he once had a coat that was the same “lavender” color as the one you are wearing (which is actually blue). You know he is a dork if he asks you how long you think it would take to put your pants on if you had a cast on your leg. The list could go one, but I think you get the picture. As it turns out, I have met my fair share of dorks, to my delight and amusement.